He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize