My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
