I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
