I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize