Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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