i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
