we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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