So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
my shit smells like andre
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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