omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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