the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
