i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
