hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize