32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
