I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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