I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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