Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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