She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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