So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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