On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
In other news, I just burned my penis
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
