I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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