does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
