I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
