Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
