Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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