The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
