bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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