I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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