Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
