that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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