thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
