After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
