i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
