3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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