Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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