my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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