Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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