We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize