Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
