You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
