Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
