Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
