I am midnight drunk by noon
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
