I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
