she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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