He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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