I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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