he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize