she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
It's just like the Real World with babies
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
he's gonorrhea incarnate
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
