I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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