My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
