You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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