Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
