By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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