if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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