I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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