I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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