Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
did you just send me my own nude
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
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