Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
