Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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