your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Farmville is her only friend.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Randomize
