You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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