Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My life is pants optional.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I think I just sharted jello shots
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