In the future we'll all be gay
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
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