areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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