i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
did i just pee glitter
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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