I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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