you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
